Reality has split. On one side is you. On the other is the relative who believes the Earth is flat or the government runs on lizard DNA.
It feels surreal.
But mostly it hurts. How do you keep a family tie alive when the other end is wrapped around a pole that is actively hostile to your existence?
We asked the experts. Cult recovery specialists. People who deal with high-control groups. Specifically those familiar with MAGA tactics. Not to deprogram anyone in a living room. But to survive the phone call without losing your mind.
Who Is That Person?
Steven Hassan, Ph.D. and founder of the Freedom of Mind Resource Center wrote “The Cult of Trump”. He has an idea.
Look back.
Think of who that person was before the rabbit hole. They are still there. They just got hacked.
“They’re going to come out,” said Hassan. “So how can I help them just realize by themselves they are not happy where they are?”
Do not attack. Cultivate warmth. Ask questions. Simple ones. You know the answers but make them tell you.
Why do they believe this? Where did they get it?
Then shut up. Listen. Mirror them back. Did you understand correctly? Yes. Okay. Another question.
It builds a bridge. Respectful dialogue follows respect.
Plant the Seed
Daniella Mestyanek Young is a cult survivor. She wrote “Uncultured”. Her view? These people didn’t choose misinformation. They fell into it. Usually because they were lonely or afraid or needed to matter.
You won’t win. But you can doubt them.
Gently.
“I have looked into this. It is widely debunked. Would you read a source I trust?”
Or this:
“It comes from a site known for lies. I am worried. Can I share why?”
If the wall goes up? Back off. Focus on other things. You are planting seeds. Kindness matters. Condescension kills the germination process.
Watch the Triggers
Anger wins. Isolation wins. Not you.
Self-awareness is critical. Hassan says to neutralize your own triggers. Find the key points that help them exit their mindset rather than the points that satisfy your need to be right.
Attack them and they retreat deeper into the bunker. People hate isolation. They respond to kindness. Praise. Love.
“Human beings can change. It is not permanent.”
That is good news. If you believe it.
Walk Away Safely
Sometimes the door slams. Or stays shut. You have the right to back out.
Young suggests scripts.
I love you too much to fight. I set boundaries. This conversation feels bad for me. Let us keep this space free of politics.
They push. You hold. Boundaries protect your peace not their behavior.
“You can step away. You are not obligated to stay when it harms you.”
Especially if the harm comes from power games built on lies.
Keep the Tether
Agreement is optional. Connection is not.
Stay grounded. Do not play the game. Young calls our era a time of “spiritual intoxication.” Misinformation offers belonging.
The most radical move? Refuse to engage the drama. Stay whole.
“The goal is not always to win. Sometimes the goal is simply to survive intact.”
Why stay at all? Why not cut the cord completely?
Because the cost of leaving a cult or extremist group is shame.
They have to admit they were tricked. They have to apologize to the people they belittled. That shame is brutal. It sticks.
So you leave the line open. Send the birthday text. Comment on the dog photo.
It feels small. Pointless.
Maybe.
“A life raft does not have to be big. It just has to float.”
One day that thread might be strong enough to pull them back. Maybe not today.
